To hopefully achieve the ultimate goal of shodan is a beautiful feeling.  In my heart I know and understand it is only a beginning of yet another long road; not just physically but spiritually as well.  The perfection of mind and body as one is truly an excruciating task, but one that has been very fulfilling to me.  The road to this gaol is endless in time, yet only in time does one truly begin to understandthe true meaning of the art andthe feeling that one achieves such as I have achieved.  Mentally, spiritually, and physically, I have but only touched a small fragment of the real meaning of this beatuiful art.  Maybe that is why I know I will always continue to study and learn because, in essence, that is what life in itself truly is - endless learning.

In my beginning years of the study here at our school, I could never understand why I was pushed physically to the point of almost exhaustion, but even more so, spiritually.  After only a short five years of study, do I really derive the meaning of what my senseis were really passing on to me.  Through those years, I have grown to understanding the true beauty of life, the art ans the infinate things that surround me.  The art has taught me to understand and to accept my life and myself and to appreciate life as it is and it's endless atrocities.

Many people have asked me - "Why do you study this Martial Art?"  I always answer - "Because I achieve spiritual and physical fulfillment."  There is something that I receive that words can never explain.  The only way one can receive and understand is to study, but only through study does one really understand.

Control of the mind and body, spiritually and physically, is truly an outstanding achievement, but to go beyond that point to perfection is yet another endless effort, but one of real beauty.  I hope to someday, God willing, achieve perfection.  By trying and working very hard, the art has made me much, much more observant to the things that surround me.  The beauty os nature, the beauty of life, the beauty of love; to understand life's true meaning, to try and fulfill every precious moment and not let life's atrocities destroy these wonderful things.

Now that I have had this opportunity to stand in front class, such as my sensei's, I can see in my own students what they saw in me; trying, struggling, stumbling and falling, trying to absorb everything that they could pass on.  Now that I can see and understand what they also went through one day, and I would like to take a quote from a poem which I read that I feel summarizes my overall feeling of my senseis and most of all - myself.  The poem is by Vincent J. Grosso, and is titled -

THE WAY

While before class each day,
My mind screams:   Why?

During class, about to faint,
My mind screams:   Why?

After class, almost unable to walk
from bruises and pulled muscles,
My mind screams:   Why?

Is there not an easier way
to stay physically and mentally fit?

Are there endeavors in life
equally satisfying?

Answering these questions my mind knows why.
My mind knows what my spirit always knew,
and I know that I will go back tomorrow
and the next day forever.

I would like to add one more feeling that I have, and that is -
Thank you John F. Lehner for bringing my mind and body to this beautiful art.